Let’s admit, it’s not easy to deal with any rejection – be it a relationship, a job interview or anything else in between.
It is even harder to stay positive when all the problems seem to swallow you up.
We can feel really bad when we lose our job or when our relationship seems to be stuck. The reason why we feel bad is because people can’t deal with rejections.
Some of us may not be able to properly handle these bad experiences because simply, we don’t know how to.
Rejection is inevitable
In almost any stage of our lives, we have dealt with rejections whether it’s in love, social life or job. The best way we can do is to have a proper understanding on how to deal with bad experiences and show trauma where the door is.
Rejection is part of life
Even Donald Trump has dealt with rejections.
A failure doesn’t mean the end of the world. It simply is a pathway to help you notice which works and which doesn’t. When you deal with rejections in the right way, you will quickly learn that failure is just a pebble standing between you and your success. Of course, you will feel bad but don’t let it take over you.
Rejection that leads to insecurity
When we are criticized, we tend to feel insecure. We feel we are not good enough and hopeless. The senses arise and we wonder if the pains ever go away. As a human, we don’t get used to be abandoned or threatened.
And it is important not to worry about the fragility but think that we are only human. We have vulnerable sides and it is completely okay to feel bad after being rejected or criticized. But hey, didn’t American Idol judges criticize, too?
We tend to think that rejection is bad. Not being in the first position is bad; failing on a relationship is bad. Everything we do, we tend to distinguish the good and the bad without taking notes on the struggles.
When you are being rejected, that doesn’t mean you are a bad lover or a bad worker. It means you are shown the wrong things before finally finding the right one. It helps you to know which pain is worth the suffering before you finally reach your goals.
Sounds, cliché but true. It is up to you, whether to go down in despair or get back up and move on.
Always be objectives
It is hard not to be on one side but you need to think objectively when dealing with rejection.
Have you worked hard enough? Have you given enough attention and effort? It is wise to firstly look in the mirror and identify the problem threads before pointing fingers.
Find your way to release the stress
- Remember the last time someone broke your heart and look at you now, already forget about it?
This is what happens when you let time heals. The previous rejections are simply a reminder to keep you move on and knowing that you are on the right path to your goals be it in relationship or business.
- Take a deep breath and let your body relax. The stress of works and the troubles of life can really break you into pieces if you don’t let the mind calm. Technically, this method has been used by psychologists and it is a basic relaxation technique that anyone can apply.
- Think positive
Why do you have to think negatively when thinking positively costs nothing? It is better to feel good regardless of any circumstances you are going through. It is better to think that the rejection leads to the right path than to think the rejection leads to a doom.
- Be open to the differences
Every person is unique and a situation may be handled differently. There will be no two people who think exactly the same way, even if they are twins. It is important to be self conscious when it comes to the differences in people and not to expect too high because it could possibly hurt you.
Sunday, June 14, 2015
Bad Relationships - When Enough is Enough
In every relationship, there is no such thing as black or white. But there are times that you question your partner’s behavior, is it acceptable? Do you intentionally hurt me? You want to believe that he or she is not doing it on purpose but then your mind seems to have a war.
In a relationships, partners can make mistakes and not all perfect, need encouragement and sometimes forgiveness. But I often ask myself, how many times should a person be forgiven?
Action speaks louder than words
Little signs are The Signs. When a person makes no effort in making you stay, then you should not be waiting anymore time to leave. Sometimes we tend to believe that he is a good person but with the consistent behavior showing the contradictions – it should be a clear, obvious sign that he is not listening to you, he is not interested to take care of you or simply being there for you.
If he keeps breaking his promises, perhaps he is an emotionally unavailable partner that will constantly have to be reminded. If you really can’t decide whether to give up or to give in, trust actions. Words are deceiving.
Making excuses
Do you find yourself making excuses just to correct your partner’s behavior? It simply signifies that the behavior is unacceptable.
You can’t consistently try to mend the wrongs. It is not your fault that someone has a bad relationship in the past, or a tough childhood. That doesn’t mean it’s okay to treat you badly under any circumstances.
It is better to take care of yourself first before you give your love to others. Self-respect is important; so before you feel a compassion to others, make sure that you don’t lose yourself.
Manipulative
Some people are just experts in being manipulative. They could turn around an excuse as a weapon to make it looks as if is your fault. Sometimes it is difficult to determine whether you are really wrong or you are just a victim.
If you feel like you are not needy but your partner feels you are clingy, perhaps it’s never your fault. You can constantly think you are the crazy one when your friends think you are doing the right thing.
Lying is not healthy
It is normal, but if it happens constantly, it’s not healthy. Being deceptive means you have too many secrets to hide from your partner. You can’t even trust him with your secrets. It is a blunder in a relationship to be in that level of deceptive.
If you find that you or your partner has to avoid conflicts by lying or making excuses, then this is an obvious sign of an unhealthy relationship.
Unwillingness to change
If your partner has cheated on you, yes, you may forgive him or her. But if the behavior does not change, then you should leave the bad relationship behind. Changes are necessary just like compromises.
If your partner is found guilty but doesn’t make any effort to change, then perhaps he is not sorry at all?
Don’t let the habit kills you. You need to be kind enough to walk away from the drama.
Constant miscommunication
If the small arguments lead to big issues, perhaps both of you have a hard time communicating. You should talk to your partner as if you are talking to your best friend. It is necessary for couples to express themselves in communications.
If they respect you, they want you to grow
Everyone has weaknesses and this should not be used to disrespect anyone. If a partner truly loves you, he or she would want you to grow. No matter how bad your past relationships were, your present partner will not use it against you.
If you really can’t decide if you are having a bad relationship because you are being emotionally invested, you can discuss your problem to someone who has nothing to do with the relationship. These people can be family or best friends. And it's obvious, they want what’s best for you and they don’t want you feel untreated. Be kind to yourself and walk away.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
employer Tips: Employer Tips on the Importance of Showing Appreciation
A boss is not someone who will cry with an employee in the bathroom. It’s not the nature. And an employee will not want to befriend with the boss either.
If you are a boss, don’t ever wish to become your employees’ number one favorite person. But you need them to get the job done excellently. So, what should you do?
Things you don’t know but you should know
Every individual has a desire to be admired or noticed. In a business that’s filled with competition and sales pitch; workers might need a little boost to make them reach a higher target. There’s nothing that scares an employee more than a fierce-looking boss behind the desk. If you want a positive working environment with positive people surround you, you should appreciate what they do.
You may be feeling under pressure. And so do your employees A survey conducted by Terry Bacon stated that 74% employees want their manager to appreciate who they are and what they do. The data proved that you are not the only person who is feeling stressed when things go wrong. Your employees actually want to fix things and want you to appreciate the temporary failed project to gain a successful goal next time.
They are trying to tell you, “If you appreciate my work today, I promise I’ll give my best tomorrow.” Employees need a typical leadership role model in this imperfect life Life is already not perfect. But a boss can step up as a peacekeeper to make sure things go the way it should. You don’t really need to show your emotions to them as they do well, but you can say a sincere “Good job!” or “Thank you!” in return.
Don’t worry; it doesn’t lessen their respect to you. The idea of giving appreciation is to accelerate their work. As you admire them, they will want to show you something more; better sales, better customer service and better business.
Appreciate employees to grasp something important from them
Your employees might notice a thing or two about the competitors. But what’s in it for them if they tell you? Of course, they want you to appreciate their little investigation during their lunch break. Employees are the first-line guard against your competitors. If you don’t want them to be at your competitor’s side or leak your company’s big issues, you have to make them feel safe and great about working with you.
What kinds of appreciations do you give to your staffs? I'm eager to know! Kindly leave comments. Thanks!
If you are a boss, don’t ever wish to become your employees’ number one favorite person. But you need them to get the job done excellently. So, what should you do?
Things you don’t know but you should know
Every individual has a desire to be admired or noticed. In a business that’s filled with competition and sales pitch; workers might need a little boost to make them reach a higher target. There’s nothing that scares an employee more than a fierce-looking boss behind the desk. If you want a positive working environment with positive people surround you, you should appreciate what they do.
You may be feeling under pressure. And so do your employees A survey conducted by Terry Bacon stated that 74% employees want their manager to appreciate who they are and what they do. The data proved that you are not the only person who is feeling stressed when things go wrong. Your employees actually want to fix things and want you to appreciate the temporary failed project to gain a successful goal next time.
They are trying to tell you, “If you appreciate my work today, I promise I’ll give my best tomorrow.” Employees need a typical leadership role model in this imperfect life Life is already not perfect. But a boss can step up as a peacekeeper to make sure things go the way it should. You don’t really need to show your emotions to them as they do well, but you can say a sincere “Good job!” or “Thank you!” in return.
Don’t worry; it doesn’t lessen their respect to you. The idea of giving appreciation is to accelerate their work. As you admire them, they will want to show you something more; better sales, better customer service and better business.
Appreciate employees to grasp something important from them
Your employees might notice a thing or two about the competitors. But what’s in it for them if they tell you? Of course, they want you to appreciate their little investigation during their lunch break. Employees are the first-line guard against your competitors. If you don’t want them to be at your competitor’s side or leak your company’s big issues, you have to make them feel safe and great about working with you.
What kinds of appreciations do you give to your staffs? I'm eager to know! Kindly leave comments. Thanks!
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
How Social Media Affects Personal Communication
As Facebook tries to remind you to wish your friend “Happy Birthday!” with a sidebar, you eventually get comfortable with screen to screen conversations. Surprisingly, people are not experiencing cultural shock with the transition from one-on-one talking to screen-to-screen chatting. They seem to enjoy it and follow the stream. As avid Internet users, people never realize that social media tools have actually changed the way they communicate. It has become a regular activity one must do to stay on trend.
The sense of interpersonal communication
You have been lacking real communication due to your busy activities and this is where social media plays its role. You can still interact with friends and family through the use of electronic devices. Social media becomes a new medium to connect each other privately and publicly. Some of you may find it more comfortable tweeting your best friend than texting or talking to her in person. However, you still feel that you are talking to her as in one-on-one conversation through your public account.
Loosing personal touch
Those emoticons and auto-texts are too cute to be left behind; you have an emoticon for “laugh out loud” or is it "Rolling of the floor"? (Seriously, you can't roll of the floor laughing for few times! You'll get head trauma!), or an ugly Domo auto-text for the people that makes you mad, and only your device knows how many others you have. However, an emoticon is a TEXTual portrayal. It’s lacking real emotion and sometimes, it’s misinterpreted.
As social media users, people are losing their personal touch because they can send 'a laugh' while putting a serious look and 'a cry' when they're actually happy. People almost forget how it feels to have a real conversation (or real rolling of the floor laughing!) in person because they enjoy typing their thoughts without the same expression they need to.
The heavily-edited version of you
Dr. Jonah Berger, a social psychologist at the Pennsylvania University explained, “When you write something, you have the time to construct and refine what you say.” Hence, when you have an oral conversation, you don’t have time to think about the perfect thing to say. Her experiment shows that people say positive things when they are talking to a bigger audience. This result explains the perfectly flawless life that always shows up on social media.
It’s through interpersonal communication that you can show the real you. But the invention (or intervention) of social media affects the way you want the world to see you. You might feel that everyone looks better on social media; and that’s the real problem. Social media can make you feel an instant happiness and also, in the worst case scenario, a sudden loser.
The sense of interpersonal communication
You have been lacking real communication due to your busy activities and this is where social media plays its role. You can still interact with friends and family through the use of electronic devices. Social media becomes a new medium to connect each other privately and publicly. Some of you may find it more comfortable tweeting your best friend than texting or talking to her in person. However, you still feel that you are talking to her as in one-on-one conversation through your public account.
Loosing personal touch
Those emoticons and auto-texts are too cute to be left behind; you have an emoticon for “laugh out loud” or is it "Rolling of the floor"? (Seriously, you can't roll of the floor laughing for few times! You'll get head trauma!), or an ugly Domo auto-text for the people that makes you mad, and only your device knows how many others you have. However, an emoticon is a TEXTual portrayal. It’s lacking real emotion and sometimes, it’s misinterpreted.
As social media users, people are losing their personal touch because they can send 'a laugh' while putting a serious look and 'a cry' when they're actually happy. People almost forget how it feels to have a real conversation (or real rolling of the floor laughing!) in person because they enjoy typing their thoughts without the same expression they need to.
The heavily-edited version of you
Dr. Jonah Berger, a social psychologist at the Pennsylvania University explained, “When you write something, you have the time to construct and refine what you say.” Hence, when you have an oral conversation, you don’t have time to think about the perfect thing to say. Her experiment shows that people say positive things when they are talking to a bigger audience. This result explains the perfectly flawless life that always shows up on social media.
It’s through interpersonal communication that you can show the real you. But the invention (or intervention) of social media affects the way you want the world to see you. You might feel that everyone looks better on social media; and that’s the real problem. Social media can make you feel an instant happiness and also, in the worst case scenario, a sudden loser.
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
What kind of friendship do you have?
Since we were kids, we were taught about
friendship at school. Our classmates were our friends. We played hide and seek with
the neighbors, and we called them friends. We move to the city and the roommate is our friend. We land on a job and the desk next door belongs to the colleague whom we later call, a friend.
Friendship provides us with the physical
and mental well being. The mutual goodwill of friendship, as described by
Aristotle, *(No, I don't read it directly from his book. No, I'm not a philosopher either. Just saying.).
Well, Aristotle said that Friendship creates a bond between two or more people.
Difficult topics like love, romance, or family’s ‘dirty laundry’ – are just some of the innermost thoughts we share with our true friends. The emotion is authentic. We don’t pretend to laugh or be empathetic, but we just do. You’d feel bad when someone breaks your friend’s heart; you’d feel happy when he or she is getting a career promotion; you’d feel worried when he/she is sick. (Okay, we’re not talking about Instagram friend that says your #selfie with #NoFilter is #Awwww #sooo #pretty)
Well, Aristotle said that Friendship creates a bond between two or more people.
Difficult topics like love, romance, or family’s ‘dirty laundry’ – are just some of the innermost thoughts we share with our true friends. The emotion is authentic. We don’t pretend to laugh or be empathetic, but we just do. You’d feel bad when someone breaks your friend’s heart; you’d feel happy when he or she is getting a career promotion; you’d feel worried when he/she is sick. (Okay, we’re not talking about Instagram friend that says your #selfie with #NoFilter is #Awwww #sooo #pretty)
When I’m talking about friendship, I’m not
talking about the casual friends that you share your feelings but still have
careful thoughts how you share those things. I’m talking about the True
friendship where I can discuss personal problems without incorporating the
self-edited version of me. It’s like they know how clumsy I am and I know how
witty they are. And really, you don’t need a life coach to find your best
friends, somehow, they just appear as if the universe conspires you to meet
them.
You can actually switch role from being ‘the
person who takes care of’ to ‘the person who is taken care of’. It happens
spontaneously like when you meet your friend in a coffee shop and pour the
heart out without ever saying, “Let’s begin the talk,” – it just flows.
For me, my best friend is the one who:
- - Ice you
- - Scold you
- - Slap you
- - Drag you back from cloud 9 to the real hard ground with their logic mind
- - Keep you company when you need it the most
- - Listen to you (even when they feel bored with your whines!)
- - Laugh over something or agree on something that only both of you understand
- - Come to your rescue
- - Celebrate your moments
- - Show you unconditional support
I’m blessed to have real friendship with the people whom I truly adore and admire(I never really say this to them, but really, I do!). Not many of us can share the same passion with our friends. And not many of us have that kind of friendship. This is why, when you have these kind of people in your circle, keep them. Show them that you care (because you really care); and appreciate their presence, while they’re still there.
When talking about friendship, I always remember
this question:
When your relationship fails; When your
family is broken; When you get a promotion; When everything falls apart – who will
be there for you?
And that really sums up which friend is the
best friend.
"In the end, it's our best friends who make everything bearable."
PS.
If you are single right now, don’t feel bad
about it. This is the time to reconnect with your close friends that you might
have forgotten because you’re too caught up with your ex. Friends are those
people who will build up your confidence even if it’s from zero point. They will
somehow find a way to cheer you and make you feel happy with yourself.
The ones who make your life less stressful and suddenly you feel that this earth isn't really a horrible place to live.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Law of Attraction: What you need to feed your mind with
Not many people know and understand the law of attraction. The universe never has a favorite and it works according to your subconscious thoughts.
Sometimes universe gives us a nudge as a signal, yet most of us ignore it. At the end of the day, we are the ones who complain and blame life.
Law of attraction can be said as a metaphysical form of negative and positive things which eventually brings physical forms of negative and positive results. Hence, it is important that you learn how to attract happiness through positive habits.
The universe offers what you believe. If you decide to be happy from the moment you wake up in the morning, then your whole day will be enjoyable. What you have is highly reflected by what you think. Instead of saying "I need money", you should go with, "I have enough".
Positive thoughts draw the universe to obey what you want and even give you more in return. Universe rewards our efforts. Law of attraction starts from within. If you believe that your salary is never enough, then you will be far from prosperity because you actually tell the universe to make you lack of money. On the other hand, people who have a belief that their salary is enough for them to live well, they're attracting prosperity to come.
Thus, it isn't about the amount but fairly about what they believe. The law of attraction requires you to be comfortable with your situation. It is the way to keep something in your life. Treat yourself well, and the world treats you the same way. Saying "When I get successful, I'll be happy" is a dangerous order to the universe. It means you're not getting closer to success. Not even an inch.
If you want to have successful life, you have to begin it right now and you have to feel it in every moment. You can visualize your dreams and what you want on a board. Make drawings or paste the things you are eager to own at this moment and in the future. Look to those things everyday and imagine you have them right now.
Law of attraction works as you set. It believes that we create our own reality. Concentrating on what you have will eventually give you more. For instance, feeling grateful everyday attracts good things to come your way. This natural approach can be applied in any situation and circumstance to manifest what you want badly.
Sometimes universe gives us a nudge as a signal, yet most of us ignore it. At the end of the day, we are the ones who complain and blame life.
Law of attraction can be said as a metaphysical form of negative and positive things which eventually brings physical forms of negative and positive results. Hence, it is important that you learn how to attract happiness through positive habits.
The universe offers what you believe. If you decide to be happy from the moment you wake up in the morning, then your whole day will be enjoyable. What you have is highly reflected by what you think. Instead of saying "I need money", you should go with, "I have enough".
Positive thoughts draw the universe to obey what you want and even give you more in return. Universe rewards our efforts. Law of attraction starts from within. If you believe that your salary is never enough, then you will be far from prosperity because you actually tell the universe to make you lack of money. On the other hand, people who have a belief that their salary is enough for them to live well, they're attracting prosperity to come.
Thus, it isn't about the amount but fairly about what they believe. The law of attraction requires you to be comfortable with your situation. It is the way to keep something in your life. Treat yourself well, and the world treats you the same way. Saying "When I get successful, I'll be happy" is a dangerous order to the universe. It means you're not getting closer to success. Not even an inch.
If you want to have successful life, you have to begin it right now and you have to feel it in every moment. You can visualize your dreams and what you want on a board. Make drawings or paste the things you are eager to own at this moment and in the future. Look to those things everyday and imagine you have them right now.
Law of attraction works as you set. It believes that we create our own reality. Concentrating on what you have will eventually give you more. For instance, feeling grateful everyday attracts good things to come your way. This natural approach can be applied in any situation and circumstance to manifest what you want badly.
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
How to Stay Calm When Working with Difficult Colleagues
Working environment can be a playground that may bring fun and disaster at the same time. Dealing with office problems can be difficult especially when it involves human beings who are blessed with different kinds of characters. Hence, if it’s not about the work, it must be about the coworkers, right?
It is a tough thing to be calm when you work with difficult colleagues but here are the lights that will guide you to arrive calmly at the end of the tunnel! Realize that you are living on Earth, not heaven. Let’s admit, difficult people do exist. Even if it is not in a form of ‘colleague’, it will always appear in other forms such as ‘friend’ or ‘cousin’.
So, instead of complaining about how lame your coworkers are, you should focus on the fact that no matter how nice you are, difficult people are always there. In business, competition is something you can’t run away from. The promotion, the target, and other elements of work require you to become a tough person to survive.
Remember, these mean colleagues are there to test you. By admitting that difficult coworkers exist, you know where you stand and you should get on with what you do without paying too much attention to them. Use them as your source of motivation Difficult colleagues can be those who turn down your ideas or say something negative about you.
However, you need these people to make you a better person. Why not taking their comment as a second opinion? Your colleague must be an expert at something and his critic might just be the answer to help you out.
Instead of swallowing their negative opinion wholly, digest it slowly and make sure the ‘nutritious’ comment can bring out the best in you. Keep calm and ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Before you stand up and confront the annoying colleague of yours, make sure you have thought about it with your cool mind. Talking with difficult people is already a problem and using a higher tone to talk to them will only make it double.
At the moment where you can’t think of anything else but to be mad, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why do I even care?”, “I am not going to lose my job because of you!” Consider this as your special skill Dealing with whiners and bullies at work should be done in private because these kinds of people will not back down in front of audience.
They tend to be synical due to their low personality dimension. This is why they easily blame others without looking at themselves. However, you have to do it professionally and calmly. The problem is not you, it’s them So far, you think you are a nice person but you have no idea how you can act crazy because of that one particular coworker.
Often times, you might think that you are the one to blame and have this guilt on your shoulder you can’t put down. Never let yourself get thrown off the balance because of another person. Being calm requires regular practice especially in this hectic phase of working life. Keep in mind that silence is not always golden. Calm is.
It is a tough thing to be calm when you work with difficult colleagues but here are the lights that will guide you to arrive calmly at the end of the tunnel! Realize that you are living on Earth, not heaven. Let’s admit, difficult people do exist. Even if it is not in a form of ‘colleague’, it will always appear in other forms such as ‘friend’ or ‘cousin’.
So, instead of complaining about how lame your coworkers are, you should focus on the fact that no matter how nice you are, difficult people are always there. In business, competition is something you can’t run away from. The promotion, the target, and other elements of work require you to become a tough person to survive.
Remember, these mean colleagues are there to test you. By admitting that difficult coworkers exist, you know where you stand and you should get on with what you do without paying too much attention to them. Use them as your source of motivation Difficult colleagues can be those who turn down your ideas or say something negative about you.
However, you need these people to make you a better person. Why not taking their comment as a second opinion? Your colleague must be an expert at something and his critic might just be the answer to help you out.
Instead of swallowing their negative opinion wholly, digest it slowly and make sure the ‘nutritious’ comment can bring out the best in you. Keep calm and ask, “What’s wrong with me?” Before you stand up and confront the annoying colleague of yours, make sure you have thought about it with your cool mind. Talking with difficult people is already a problem and using a higher tone to talk to them will only make it double.
At the moment where you can’t think of anything else but to be mad, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why do I even care?”, “I am not going to lose my job because of you!” Consider this as your special skill Dealing with whiners and bullies at work should be done in private because these kinds of people will not back down in front of audience.
They tend to be synical due to their low personality dimension. This is why they easily blame others without looking at themselves. However, you have to do it professionally and calmly. The problem is not you, it’s them So far, you think you are a nice person but you have no idea how you can act crazy because of that one particular coworker.
Often times, you might think that you are the one to blame and have this guilt on your shoulder you can’t put down. Never let yourself get thrown off the balance because of another person. Being calm requires regular practice especially in this hectic phase of working life. Keep in mind that silence is not always golden. Calm is.